Natalie Rhodes
While the Aries moon in me has always strongly identified with the divine feminine rage elicited in all of Alanis Morissette’s songs on her album Jagged Little Pill, I have the deepest affinity for her song “Mary Jane.” As a mental health therapist who primarily works with clients struggling with eating disorders, and someone who has struggled with my own issues with food, “Mary Jane” is the song that has always resonated with me the most because it clearly details Morissette’s struggles with her own eating disorder as a young girl and woman. In my role as a therapist, I have heard clients describe time and time again how getting to their “goal weight” or obtaining a certain “aesthetic” never gives them what they were looking for, that it’s never enough. Simply put, eating disorders are never satisfied. In my opinion, until people start to do the hard work of digging deep and processing the core issues that have led them to engage in disordered eating behaviors in the first place, they will continue to find themselves heading, as Alanis poetically puts it, “full speed baby in the wrong direction.”
Jade McLeod & Lauren Chanel. Photo by Matthew Murphy, Evan Zimmerman for MurphyMade, 2022.
While not universally true, I have come to find that the origins of most people’s eating disorders are just as much tied to a desperate attempt to feel a sense of control as they are to a desire to fit into our culture’s omnipresent obsession with thinness. In today’s chaotic world, many young people who are socialized as female find themselves struggling to feel any sense of control or agency over their own lives. This is especially true for young women and girls who find themselves in power and control dynamics with a parent, partner, or both. I believe Morissette is describing insight into this phenomenon in her own metaphorical way in “Mary Jane” when she sings, “So take this moment Mary Jane and be selfish. Worry not about the cars that go by ‘cause all that matters Mary Jane is your freedom.”
Developing self-trust, honoring your own autonomy, compassionately turning towards and connecting with your inner child and cultivating a sense of radical self-acceptance, are some of the ways that many of my eating disorder clients over the years have been able to climb out of the depths of their own eating disorders and feel a stronger sense of freedom along the way. For most, freedom and autonomy are the antidote to feeling controlled by others or feeling out of control with food. I wholeheartedly believe that the more folks can move towards body liberation and practicing intuitive eating skills, the less likely they are to suffer from oppressive disordered eating behaviors and body shame.
I will leave you with one last quote from “Mary Jane” that I feel details how connecting with one’s own inner child can help cultivate a level of acceptance and compassion that is no match for most disordered eating thoughts or behaviors. “I hear you’re losing weight again Mary Jane. Do you ever wonder who you’re losing it for?....Please be honest, Mary Jane are you happy? Please don’t censor your tears. You’re the sweet crusader. And you’re on your way. You’re the last great innocent. And that’s why I love you.” If you or someone you know is struggling with their relationship with their body or food, please do not hesitate to get the help today, liberation is yours to claim.
Heidi Blickenstaff as Mary Jane Healy in the Broadway production of Jagged Little Pill. Photo credit to Variety.
Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill runs March 6 - 23 at Market Theatre. You can purchase reserved and general admission tickets at markettheatre.org/tickets.
Thank you to Natalie Rhodes Counseling for this blog, and to Ruth Harbin Counseling for connecting Market Theatre with her. If you are seeking counseling services from Natalie, you can find more information at www.natalierhodescounseling.com.
